I admit, that was a silly comment, about the feeling something. Because, of course, I am feeling something, I'm feeling more, much more than before - only it is taking me down. In a way I got what I asked for, I wanted to feel what love is like, and I am now, only it is tearing me apart.

So I should be happy then, now I know what love is. Love is wanting to be with that one person all the time, being influenced by even just a single blink of their eyes, a willingness to to anything for them, even if it means giving up something else you love, or if it destroys yourself. Love is the opposite of indifference, someone said. Love is the most powerful emotion. Strong enough to completely overturn your whole being, to make you go from desperately happy to desperately down in a fraction of a second, and then back again. Love is your life-river flowing through a rocky channel, so powerful and beautiful.

So I have it now - but she doesn't. She just likes me. We've been together once, we know each other quite well - we are on the same wavelength. But she doesn't love me.